


The Pipeweed Ban

by fuzzybooks



Series: Saruman's Fight Against Pipeweed [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pipeweed, assumed drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzybooks/pseuds/fuzzybooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saruman decided to return to the Shire and finish what he had started, his mission to ban pipeweed once and for all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pipeweed Ban

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sir_Nemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Nemo/gifts).



After he and Grima had been driven out of Isengard by Gandalf the Grey, proclaiming himself to be “Gandalf the White” now apparently, Saruman and his companion had to resort to walking.

There was far too much walking to be done, but he decided that now was as good a time as any to return to the land of the Halflings to make sure that they had been following his instructions, and if they hadn’t… well, he had a back-up plan.

Grima was a good companion, far better than Gandalf had ever been, he actually paid attention and didn’t go around smoking that thrice-damned pipeweed, or heaven forbid those mushrooms. He still hadn’t gotten his reputation back up after that incident in The Greenwoods, he refused to call it “Mirkwood”.

Little did he know that as soon as Saruman was tucked away and asleep at each inn they visited, Grima would slip away for pipe. It was difficult working for Saruman, he was so demanding, and he just wouldn’t shut up about Halflings and Radagast. He had to do so when he knew he wouldn’t get caught, he’d never hear the end of it otherwise.

Being able to look attentive while completely blocking out someone’s voice was a rather handy skill to have, he’d learnt.

After weeks of walking, really, why couldn’t they have stopped and gotten horses? It also would have made a more dramatic entrance, the finally came to the town of Bree. Saruman rallied some men, he had not forgotten the small army of small people with pitchforks from his last visit, so this time he would be prepared.

They stormed Hobbiton, after they had stormed the further outlying places of course - you can’t storm the middle without defeating the sides, and soon came the time of The Pipeweed Ban.

It was a sorrowful time, and the Men from Bree enforced The Ban, ransacking supplies, and if you were caught smoking, they would make you attend meetings at Bag-End, where Saruman would talk for 3 hours straight. It was torture, so in general they opted to endure.

And that is what our dear Hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry, came back to, after their time spent on a quest, something about a ring of some sort.


End file.
